So, now that I’m being authentic, I’m going to discuss what authenticity is. According to Dictionary.com, it means:
- not false or copied; genuine; real:
- having an origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified:
- representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified:
- entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy:
In other words, not like Trump. (Couldn’t help myself)
What’s it like being authentic? First of all I can’t get away with pretending anymore. I’m amazed how often I’m tempted to answer a question with a contrived, made-up response to impress. Where does that come from?
Yesterday, someone asked me about a painting he had commissioned and which he had already paid me for. He wanted to know how the painting had helped me. I told him I’d received many compliments–which was the truth–and that I’d sold several other commissions because of the painting I’d done for him–which was a half-truth. I’d sold other commissions but none because of the painting I did for him.
The lie made me felt uneasy. A little while later, I realized why. Having to lie hadn’t come from who I am being now. It came from the me who had been not good enough, who thought she had to sell herself.
So, now I know one of the gifts of being authentic. It’s all about accepting myself as I am. I don’t have to create a me to cover up any flaw of who I am.
Another way I’ve caught myself not being authentic is when I don’t feel all right with being spontaneous. I can’t help but be authentic when I allow myself to be sponaneous.
This happened several days ago. My daughter pointed out that I often get angry when she tells me how she listens to her ego undermining her. I realized the anger I felt was coming from all the times I’d done the same thing. I had a hard time getting over listening to my ego? Why was I expecting her to not pay attention to what she knows is hurting her when I did that same thing to myself so many times before?
The answer to that is simple. I’m not used to coming back with an honest response when people, anyone, catches me being less than empathetic. In the case with my daughter, I thanked her for pointing that out to me. I told her I’d try to catch myself if it ever comes up again.
So, I’m still in the early stages of getting over being hard on myself. But already I feel a relief and a cleansing going on each time I recognize the truth and share that with others. Try it! You may just may like it.