This painting, entitled The Winding River, reminds me of the path I’m on now.  As I took all the steps I had to in order to arrive at my goal, I came to more self-awareness and more sure of what I really want.  All the sudden epiphanies I’m having now are providing new ideas with more choices to make.  So, I’m finding more and more that the way to my destination hasn’t and will never be a straight one.

“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.”

― Oprah Winfrey

The definition of self-awareness is: knowledge and awareness of your own personality or character.  I learned a lot about myself when I wrote a memoir.  As I wrote and went deeper into the reasons I had acted the way I did during some past experiences, I discovered strengths and weaknesses, vulnerabilities and passions, and in some cases, idiosyncrasies.

From these awarenesses I discovered that sometimes I rely on other people’s judgments of how best to achieve my goal, when it’s obvious that the person’s approach won’t benefit what I want to express.  Sometimes I see that what I’ve accomplished contradicts what I’ve just learned about myself.  Always though, clarity makes it obvious what I’m really striving for.

“Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one’s awareness of one’s ignorance.”

― Anthony de Mello

I’ve always known there’s more to learn.  I remember when I received my B.A. degree in English and Art, thinking, This degree just shows me how little I know.  However, when not actually learning in a classroom setting, or some online course, or reading a book, living your life doing the same things each day, we tend to keep things we know about ourselves hidden.  We may not have considered them because our lives have become structured.  There may be things we are ashamed about; or things that we really don’t think important or things simply best forgotten.  It’s easier and safer to go with the status quo.

When I committed to writing a memoir, I knew I’d have to be more honest with myself than I ever had.  But I was ready.  My life was a mess.  I wasn’t happy in my job.  I wasn’t making enough money to pay all my bills, and then my body broke down so that I had to quit my job.  Bodies are like that.  They close down when we wallow in stress and inaction.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

― C.G. Jung

Now that I’m aware of how much influence our unconscious choices have in key areas of our lives, how much they influence, sabotage and sometimes derail our desires, I always check in to make sure that the decisions I make are coming from my heart.  If it feels right, despite everyone else’s opinions, it’s the right choice for me.

So far, for me, this has proven true.  Yes, it’s harder.  Yes, sometimes you have to deal with other people’s dissatisfaction and discomfort, but in the end, it’s you who has to be happy doing what you love.

Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Helen Keller

The gift of self-awareness is that it steers us in the direction of certainty and faith.  Our journey becomes more enjoyable, even when confronted with difficulties.  We’re no longer all over the place, questioning ourselves and our decisions.  We’re full of conviction, making the journey easier and more fun.

For more about self-awareness, go to https://wp.me/p9td7w-uA.