This commissioned painting is one of the last I recently completed. I copied a picture I was asked to reproduce. I did make a few changes, though. For instance, I wanted to have the couple walking towards something, and that turned out to be the light in the background. Everyone who’s seen the painting is impressed with how real the painting looks, telling me, “It looks like a picture.”
I asked myself, “Why paint something when all you manage to achieve is something that looks like something else?” That question led me to question why I wasn’t painting what I really wanted to paint. I’ve always wanted to paint something like a Chagall, something ethereal. Or something so spiritual, it would stop the viewer in his/her tracks trying to figure out why the painting seemed to speak to their soul.
I found that the answer I was so easily able to express ended up being charged with all the reasons I haven’t painted what I really want to be able to do. I’m afraid that if I allow my subconscious to control the outcome, people will judge me for what I painted. If I give up control, I’m afraid that something I’d rather not see will emerge in the painting. Painting out of my control will make me feel vulnerable.
I’m ready to tackle those fears now. How about you?