Writing From Your Heart

This painting is one of many I did of the Franklin Mountains in El Paso. The mountains delineated west from east in the city. I lived on the west side.

I don’t live there anymore, but I do live at the foot of another mountain, the Sandia’s in Albuquerque, New Mexico. There’s always been a strong pull for me to have the reminder of the strength of a terrain that isn’t upended by weather or disasters.

Many people admire me for my resilience to life’s challenges and tests. I believe it’s the constancy of the unmoving and unshakable mound upon mound of earth at the base of the city that I find my trust in life’s unpredictable circumstances. The area is built up from the weight of a past. Mountains are formed “from Earth’s tectonic plates smashing together. Below the ground, Earth’s crust is made up of multiple tectonic plates. They’ve been moving around since the beginning of time. … The result of these tectonic plates crumpling is huge slabs of rock being pushed up into the air.”

This has been going on forever, so, for me, the mountain is the closest thing of something to count on in times such as the time we are living in. Nothing is as it has been. Our lives are dependent on circumstances out of our control. But the mountain being constant, firm and still, is the backdrop I use to let go.

When I let go, I feel my heart. I can’t feel my heart if there is any fear. The heart is the center of all that the mountain is. Our hearts are constant and still. We enter them by focusing on love, the absence of fear.

If I want to accomplish anything creative, this is what supports me to give up control and accept and acknowledge what comes into an empty mind.

You don’t have to live by a mountain to access the sense of solidity. You just have to let go of the fear of its absence.

What is Being Authentic?

So, now that I’m being authentic, I’m going to discuss what authenticity is. According to Dictionary.com, it means:

adjective

  • not false or copied; genuine; real:
  • having an origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified:
  • representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified:
  • entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy:

In other words, not like Trump. (Couldn’t help myself)

What’s it like being authentic? First of all I can’t get away with pretending anymore. I’m amazed how often I’m tempted to answer a question with a contrived, made-up response to impress. Where does that come from?

Yesterday, someone asked me about a painting he had commissioned and which he had already paid me for. He wanted to know how the painting had helped me. I told him I’d received many compliments–which was the truth–and that I’d sold several other commissions because of the painting I’d done for him–which was a half-truth. I’d sold other commissions but none because of the painting I did for him.

The lie made me felt uneasy. A little while later, I realized why. Having to lie hadn’t come from who I am being now. It came from the me who had been not good enough, who thought she had to sell herself.

So, now I know one of the gifts of being authentic. It’s all about accepting myself as I am. I don’t have to create a me to cover up any flaw of who I am.

Another way I’ve caught myself not being authentic is when I don’t feel all right with being spontaneous. I can’t help but be authentic when I allow myself to be sponaneous.

This happened several days ago. My daughter pointed out that I often get angry when she tells me how she listens to her ego undermining her. I realized the anger I felt was coming from all the times I’d done the same thing. I had a hard time getting over listening to my ego? Why was I expecting her to not pay attention to what she knows is hurting her when I did that same thing to myself so many times before?

The answer to that is simple. I’m not used to coming back with an honest response when people, anyone, catches me being less than empathetic. In the case with my daughter, I thanked her for pointing that out to me. I told her I’d try to catch myself if it ever comes up again.

So, I’m still in the early stages of getting over being hard on myself. But already I feel a relief and a cleansing going on each time I recognize the truth and share that with others. Try it! You may just may like it.

When To Hold On and When to Let Go

A quote from Byron Katie:

“Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon or late. You don’t have to like it—it’s just easier if you do.

I believe that when you believe this, when this idea is integrated in all aspects of  you—your physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and intellectual self—you will be free.

I believe all this, but even though I know it, it’s still sometimes hard. I resist having to change, even though I know it’s in my best interest. Sometimes I have to go through really difficult challenges when I don’t pay attention to what I need to do.

I’m at that point right now. I’ve been stuck with my writing. I need to change because what I’ve been writing doesn’t reflect who I am anymore. I have changed, so I have to be authentic to the woman I am now. 

What’s hard about that for me is that I can no longer hide behind what’s been safe for me all these years. It’s time to face my fears and let go.

I think it’s time for me to practice what I preach. I can’t hold on anymore, so I have to let go. I need to feel at ease being vulnerable. It’s time to open my heart to what is real and true and a little scary.

I do know that fear is a great motivator. So, I start with facing the fear that I might fall on my face, I might make mistakes that send me reeling in frustration to the depths of desperation. I might feel I’m going backwards. I know that discomfort is something I might have to live with for awhile. 

But what if I focus on what I want? What if I believe I’ll be surprised, thrilled and delighted with the outcome of my having let go. What if, instead of my feeling not up to the challenge, I end up loving how powerful I feel now that I let go? 

Hey, this might be fun. Will you join me on this journey into the unknown? We might end up being friends and co-creators of a better way for all of us to approach our fears. Anyway, I’m on board if anyone else is interested.

Thanks for reading through my rambling. I usually do this in my journal, but I’m committed to being honest to not just myself, but everyone.  

Let’s Make Sure Your Vote Counts

Remembering The Law of Attraction is of utmost importance. The results of our election depends on all of us understanding how energy in voting makes a difference.

The Law of Attraction says that you will attract into your life whatever you focus on, and that like attracts like. But the way to manifest what we want hinges on our making sure we are focusing on what we really want.

Let me explain. Most people in our country are focusing on what they don’t want. So many Americans have stated they are voting for Joe Biden because we can’t let President Trump win again. Their fear is directing their choices, not what they’re wanting.

By focusing on keeping Trump from winning, we are focusing on Trump. All of our attention goes to what we don’t want. Can you see that all the energy being sent on to Trump is going to be a powerful draw to an outcome most of us don’t want?

There’s a solution to this dilemma, and it is simple. If we, as a nation in peril, take our focus off the candidates, and on to what we want, we can’t lose. With all the people’s attention all over the country focusing on what they want, they can’t help but receive what they’re wanting, and that’s what we want, isn’t it?

Take President Trump out of the equation. He doesn’t matter except for all the reasons he’s given us for wanting to vote.

Now, to manifest what we want, we have to focus on what we want. We have to clarify what we want our vote to mean. If like attracts like, you want to make sure that your vote will shape the world of your desires, not what you don’t want. And then you need to elaborate. Your beliefs shape your thoughts, your thoughts shape your actions, and your actions shape your reality.

For me, my belief that our country needs to come back to a way where we may differ in our opinions, but we should be able to compromise might lead me to think about having a president who listens instead of rules. The next thought helps me decide about the vote I’m going to make because I also want a loving a caring democracy. Now that I’m clear to take action, I can make my vote from a place of the love and peace and caring for what I want for our country.

This is not the only issue where I want change, so I shall take out a new notebook and begin writing the changes I’d like to see in our new administration. The more clarity I receive, the more positive energy I can bring to what I write. Visualizing the black community celebrating the end of police brutality, I feel their relief and sense of freedom from abuse. A raise in the living wage is helping families have enough money for all of their needs and less dependence on a government that doesn’t always keep its promises. It’s comforting to have confidence in an administration that’s always honest and prepares me for anything I should know. I’m beyond excited that the energy in our country is uplifting and that we are all eager to help.

I don’t know about you, but I want whoever wins the election to lead us to a sense of unity. I want to feel confident our next president will help us get through this pandemic in ease with less and fewer people being affected until we’re all vaccinated and safe. 

I could go on and on, but I hope you understand with the information I’ve given you, you’re not only going to vote, but you’re going to make that vote count for something you want.

I’ll answer questions you want to ask in the comments section. To learn more about the Law of Attraction, google Law of Attraction on the internet. There are many books on the Law on Amazon and other bookstores or at any library.

Finding or Creating Yourself?

The phrase “Know thyself” is a motto inscribed on the frontispiece of the Temple of Delphi. It shows that humans must stand and live according to their nature. People have to look at themselves.

In 1959 psychologists Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow had major influence in popularizing self-concept in the west.

According to Carl Rogers, in 1959 he said the self-concept has three different components:

  • The view you have of yourself (Self-image)
  • How much value you place on yourself (Self–esteem or self-worth)
  • What you wish you were really like (Ideal self)

The Law or Attraction or the idea we create ourselves goes back to the Buddha who said, “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.” Jesus said, “It is done unto you as you believe.” And it says in the Talmud, “We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

More recent quotes from sages include one from Napoleon Hill who said, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “We become what we think about all day long.” New Thought writer Louise Hay has popularized using affirmations to support your Law of Attraction goals. A proponent of self-love and self-compassion, she has helped Law of Attraction practitioners see the power that a positive self-concept has to boost your vibration and increase your ability to manifest.

More recent, in the 21st century, Rhonda Byrne’s book The Secret (and her associated film) has turned the Law of Attraction from a niche interest into a concept with worldwide fame and general applicability. The Secret presents the views and teachings of a wide range of prominent and emerging Law of Attraction practitioners. The film is known for its straightforward, empowering approach to manifestation. For example, it stresses that setting goals, reflecting on negativity and learning new ways of thinking are all key to getting what you really want. Readers and viewers come away from his material believing that anyone can use the Law of Attraction to their advantage; that it is not the purview of experts, or of the spiritually evolved.

Now that we know both concepts about self-awareness and creating ourselves have been around since the beginning of thought, we can assume these ideas must be important. Now more and more momentum on this subject has brought forth more ideas and ways to approach growth and expansion.

I’ve been practicing both, learning about myself, and creating myself almost all of my life. As a child I dreamt of becoming beautiful (like my sister) and having many men falling into love with me (like my sister). Lo-and-behold! My ugly duckling body became transformed into a swan, and my last year in college, I received eight proposals of marriage.

After that my manifesting went from hit or miss, and I didn’t know why until another factor got my attention. I discovered how unkind, how judgmental, and how my beliefs about myself—I believed I was unworthy and not good enough—were keeping me stuck, unable to receive what I wanted.

I experimented. I let myself think thoughts about myself I didn’t want to manifest. Being careful with which thoughts I’d allow, I ended up having that thought materialize into something that had been born out of that thought.

I can’t remember the exact thoughts I played with, but they were always about something that wouldn’t make a long-lasting, unwanted impact on my life. Thoughts like “I always do things the wrong way” set me up for making another mistake. Or the thought, “I might not have enough money for what I want”, created other, unexpected expenditures, so I didn’t have enough.

I still can’t constantly manifest what I desire. Each time a manifestation doesn’t appear, it’s because of a new block that prevents me from manifesting.

But I’m knowing for sure that our thoughts create our reality. I know now to say, “Cancel” or “Go Away” to negative thoughts. They have been bombarding me less and less. In fact, days go by with no negative thoughts.

I say “Yes!” to positive thoughts. It’s essential to think positively to be happy.

I am also finding myself full of gratitude for how happy I’ve become with my life. Success in becoming happy depends on the love you have in your heart, so the more you see that which you love, the more you’ll be creating your happy being.

A Do Over

Writing this blog has made me realize it’s going to be more challenging than I thought it would be. Talking about the changes I’m ready to be isn’t BEING the change.

In my previous post “A New Beginning,” I said, “I’m hoping that by sharing what I’m going through, you will find coincidences that help you navigate your lives.” That’s what I wanted to be doing in this blog. I wanted to write from the expanded, the me who has changed—to be the change. I failed.

But then, instead of sharing what was happening to me in the moment, in my post “What is Success?”, I wrote a post like my earlier posts. I wrote from my ego, the part of me who likes to think I have ideas that will help others. That wouldn’t be a problem if my ego didn’t need to be important. And the only reason I needed to feel important is because I didn’t.

What I’m learning now is to face all that I do or think or say that sabotages my wellbeing. And then I forgive myself. Acknowledging and accepting my mistakes makes it easier to let go. Letting go opens me to feeling feel freer and stronger.

When I reread my last post, after I had posted it, I saw how I’d stayed safe rather than expose how much more I know. I was ashamed that I’d not been honest. So, I am sharing the Ho’oponopono prayer with you. This prayer is part of an ancient Hawaiian practice, and it could play a central role in your relationships and your own physical and emotional healing.

Ho’oponopono has simple words yet has a powerful impact on your life. They say by following a simple step of repeating the prayer all the time, it will cleanse your body, making you a happier person. I use it when I realize some belief, judgment or fear is impeding my wellbeing.

The following steps elaborate more about the Ho’oponopono prayer.

  • I Am Sorry — Repentance
  • Forgive Me—Forgiveness
  • Thank You—Gratitude
  • I Love You—Love

And, yes, I talk to myself. I tell myself it’s okay to make a mistake. I remind myself that the mistake was what I had to do in order to know when I don’t like what I’ve just done. If you don’t know what you don’t like about yourself, how are you going to know what you’d prefer.

I prefer being honest no matter how difficult it may be for me at the time because I know that’s the only way to feel good about myself and to feel free and confident.

So, thank you in joining me in forgiving myself. If there’s something you would like to forgive yourself for, you’re welcome to join me.

What is Success?

What is success for you? I used to think having more money than most people would make me feel successful. But it did the reverse. There are many things about money that impede good relationships.  I experienced moneyed people thinking their wealth meant they were special, causing those who didn’t have as much money to think of themselves as less. And in your own relationship with yourself, if you think having more money will make you feel you’re not only good enough, that you’re successful, it doesn’t.

So, since money doesn’t guarantee your success, can anything else? I thought becoming a successful artist would make me feel successful. It did for a while. I loved the adulation, the compliments, the notoriety, when I had my first one woman show for my artwork in New York. But living in the limelight never brought me happiness. After a while, having to prove yourself repeatedly to other people that you are you can produce more success, it gets to be painful.

We could make a list of all the things people think will make them feel successful, but nothing by itself ever does. So what does? 

What makes you feel successful has everything to do with what’s inside you. True success is in the journey toward manifesting  what you love doing, being, or having. It’s in the solving the problems, learning new skills, feeling our way through what’s blocking us. Success is the result of growing and becoming more.

Now I’m going to ask you a personal question. What would your life look like if you didn’t care what other people thought? If there were no “Should’s” and “Have to’s”.

I don’t know about you, but I felt freed not having to fit in or worry about how someone else was going to be affected. I felt power I’d never known I could feel.

What is genuine success for you? Whatever your answer, the first step you must take is to embrace the desire to be more. The second step on our way to success is to make a commitment. We need to make that promise because we are afraid of change, so we need to know our goal is more important than our feeling safe.

After committing, look for times you feel resistant. Resistance is the signal you’re on the right path. It’s a sign we’re close to success. The key to let go of the resistance is in choosing to take action over feeling the fear.

Success happens when we’ve come to that feeling of completion in every facet of ours lives. It exists when success encompasses all aspects of our lives.

As we delve deeper into success, we’re going to explore becoming more powerful. Thank you for reading this far. There’s so much more to come as we point out the blocks that stop most people from succeeding at success.

A New Beginning

I’ve taken a longer hiatus from my blog than I expected. I quit posting to pack for a move from the house I was living in. The pandemic hit. Then I and everyone in the entire world began dealing with the repercussions.

In my case, since I’m classified high risk because of my age, I’m still hunkering in place. This hasn’t prevented me from having other impediments. My computer died. It was getting old, so I’m not surprised.  Now I have a brand new MacBook Air. I’m getting used to it and getting to know my new apartment and the streets I’m getting to walk on each morning.

Speaking of “new”, I’ve been receiving ideas of where I want to take my blog. Rather than posting about the past changes I’ve made in my life, helping others do the same, I’ve decided I’ll be writing my posts in the present. 

Being in the present has become something I need in my life now. When I’m not in the present, I suffer. I mess up what I’m working on, I worry, and I forget a lot.

My intuition led me to this course when I was feeling stuck, and nothing I tried to get “unstuck” was working. The course is about becoming successful in every area of your life. It’s about becoming more for yourself. These are things I believe each of us wants, so I’m hoping that by sharing what I’m going through, you will find coincidences that help you navigate your lives.

In this introduction to my new blog changes, I’d like to invite you to join me on my journey. If you like what you’re reading, please consider becoming an email subscriber for news and information on new blog posts.

When Everything Slows Down

Who Am I 5-1

It’s been hard to motivate myself since the pandemic created a massive change in everyone’s lives. It’s slowed down my already diminished “have to do” list. My routine has become, I wake, shower, meditate, eat, clean dishes, call family and friends, check the news, eat, clean dishes, watch movies on Netflix, sleep.

In between I procrastinate with reading what’s new during the pandemic—what changes are being made and when and how we will be able to move freely again. I am also lured into watching movies Netflix is adding to its site.

Eager to write for my blog again after taking time off to finish a book I’d written. I vowed that I’d write every day so I could post every week. But that’s not happening.

I confess to not having been a responsible blogger in the past. I didn’t always post fresh material each week.

But now it’s worse. I don’t feel the inclination to write about what I wrote before. That never stopped me from sitting at my computer until an idea propelled me on to write.

It’s possible that having slowed everything down to essentials in my life has resulted in not feeling any urgency to get my work done. My reaction to the turmoil of the coronavirus pandemic was to double down on meditation and walk to commune with nature every day. I watch only movies and read books that are funny and/or uplifting. It’s my carefully calculated way of keeping myself from becoming depressed.

Knowing this is not who I am, I wonder how I can keep myself from feeling distracted each time I sit down to write. Having become so calm has turned into a problem.

My research brought up the fact that procrastination is because of discomfort, but at first that made little sense to me. Feeling discomfort writing before didn’t stop me from writing. It was a little anxiety that helped me to begin writing before.

We motivate ourselves to work with something outside ourselves. When our work is something we love to do, the work itself motivates us. Because I no longer had a routine, I needed to find extra motivation to work despite having lost what had motivated me before the pandemic.

Celebrated author Nir Eyal shares powerful insights on the science and psychology of procrastination in a podcast on Mindvalley. He says that everything we do is to escape discomfort. We need to learn how to control and manage our discomfort to take action.

In my case, needing to learn a novel way to manage my discomfort became my goal. First, I needed to acknowledge that involving myself with something other than what I planned to do was due to discomfort. By naming what it was, I realized whatever had my attention was procrastination, not anything else.

Nir Eyal offers two ways to do this. The first step is the 10 minute rule. You say to yourself, “I don’t crave distraction anymore. I can get past this distraction in 10 minutes”.

Set a timer for 10 minutes. You can either return to the task you wanted to do or sit with the discomforting sensations of either blame or shame.

Blamers criticize other people. “It’s So and So’s fault for keeping me from being able to work.“ Shamers condemn themselves. “If I had any guts, I wouldn’t be tempted with stuff that doesn’t serve me.“

Be present with the urge to blame or shame until it stops. Allow the thoughts to play out until they lose their strength.

The second step is for when you feel guilty about making time for entertainment. If you want to watch something on Netflix, instead of feeling guilty, if you intend when you want to do this, you are changing how you’re approaching what you think of distraction.

By determining the details first, getting the information, then defining by scheduling the time, you do it without feeling you’re procrastinating.

Another suggestion from Eyal is that if you set a period of time you will lock out on your calendar to work without distraction, you don’t have to deal with the discomfort of feeling pulled away from working to procrastinate.

These suggestions helped to help me overcome the fears that came up when I tried to write. Telling the truth to myself helped me define what was happening. Rather than judge my response, I could distinguish what action to take.

The best that’s come from facing the truth is I don’t crave distraction anymore. It’s so much more satisfying to feel good about a job well done.

Besides, now that procrastination is all right when I plan for it, I can still enjoy it.